I don’t know what to think…
Guest Post: by Nerone, the dog
So here I am, just bein’ the good dog, barking’ at cats, takin’ walks, watchin’ the laundry dry (that’s hard work you know…) And all of a sudden, my friends, the chicks DISAPPEAR! I told that lady who feeds me, She Who Must Be Obeyed, that we needed to get right on that. So She talked to my friend Costantino. I saw him shakin’ his head and all. I’m thinkin’ bad things happened. He’s all the time ridin’ around on that big ole tractor, cuttin’ grass. Maybe he ran over them. But She said no. And She said She didn’t really understand what Costo was tellin’ her. Then the next day She was talkin’ to his wife, Olive Oyl. She told me that Olive Oyl pretty much said the same thing. That ‘the chickens’ year was over’. (What does that mean?) And that the chickens were peckin’ at their eggs. And that was bad. Well! I’m not surprised! The way Olive Oyl and Costo go on about the chickens being fat and all. They were probably hungry! You know Olive Oyl calls me Grossone. Really!
I mean she’s (Olive Oyl) all the time worryin’ about weight. But she’s a strong one. A few weeks ago before the chickens left, I saw ‘em when they was movin’ that mattress. She Who Must Be Obeyed and Costo had gotten it down the steps but then the two of them couldn’t get it any further. So Costo called Olive Oyl to come help. (He calls her by right name. I’m the only one who calls her Olive Oyl. Look what she calls me!) Any way, she come over. Now she’s wayyyy taller than either Costo or SWMBO. So Olive Oyl hefts up the mattress and is in one corner, Costo is in the middle, with most of the weight fallin’ on his head and SWMBO is diagonal from Olive Oyl in the back corner. So they all three set off, heftin’ this mattress like jungle bearers bein’ chased by a tiger. Ceptin’ it was the chickens chasin’ them. Man alive, I just about peed on my tail it was so funny! Those chickens were good for all kinds of fun and now SWMBO seems to think that they are livin’ somewhere else.
But then… I don’t know what SWMBO did, but I thought She was tryin’ to get rid of ME!
Look what She’s feedin’ me! That’s not Italian, that’s Spanish! Well, I have a delicate stomach. I was sicker than a dawg! For days! I don’t know. Maybe it was just dog flu. I’m feelin’ better now but I had to stay in from work, protectin’ and watchin’ for cats for a few days. I was so sick.
And it’s not like I get any privacy. Here I am in my own room, just tryin’ to take a little nap but She just has to take a picture.
Really, life is so hard sometimes… I miss my chicken friends.